English language is not as easy as we think,
A prefect was asked by the principal of a high school to remind the rest of the students that they were to meet in the chapel.
Running from classroom to classroom, he kept shouting, "Al of you, went to the chapel. Others are wenting there!"
I was reading the reader's digest and came across somethng I thought was hilarious.
"I am neither an atheist,
nor an agnostic, claims a man.
I am an acrostic.
It is all a puzzle to me.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
my 2nd boifriend
was an ass. OK, so I embellished a little, sue me. Alright, so he wasn't quite an ass, he was a horse's ass. yep, that's what I said, a big horse's behind!
Now, that's out of the way, I have to admit there were a lot of great moments when we dated. Yea, I remember having the best times with him when he wasn't being a horse's behind. I am going to be in so much trouble when he gets a load of this, but who gives a rat's ass, right? Right!!!
Anyways, I met Horse's Ass (henceforth referred to as HA) the summer of my sophomore year in college. I had gone to apply for some odd job with a couple of my cousins when HA rolled in the building with a couple of his friends. The attraction was instant even though I ignored him and just chilled. When we were done filling out all the forms, his friends started macking my cousins...well, at least they tried, while HA tried putting his smooth ( or so he thot) moves on me. I wasn't to be persuaded tho, so he went on home, disappointed. As soon as I was rid of him, I couldn't help but think about him tho. The broda was foine. Anyways, there was nothing I could do. I was already dating someone, and that was tasking enuff that I couldn't fathom myself juggling HA with the current beau.
Anyways, we all got the job, trust me, you don't want to know what it was. Just know it was a lot of hard work, and I pretty much spent the whole summer juggling school, work and beau. It was an endless cycle, and I don;t think I could survive it if I had to go thru that again. After work each day, HA would trying some of his moves but it neva worked. I finally quite the damn job about two months later. Trust, that was more than I could take of it. After I left the job, I lost contact with HA. By the end of the summer tho, the relationship btw beau and I had fizzled due to some other shait. Oh well, I said. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I had the few weeks before school resumed to hang out and just chill, and not worry about anyone but me.
It was the middle of the fall semester when I ran into HA again. He had gotten so much more handsome. He had his hair braided in a form of cornrow that made him look even more distinguished. It wasn't the sort of braids that made guys look sort of riff-raffy. On him, it just made one want to gobble him up...
Anyways, we got to talking and before you could say supercalifragerlisticespiaodocious, we were an item. The first couple of months were just blissful. A lot of walks in the park, not minding the weather, eateries, sight seeing, and I'll let you fill in the blanks. Then I started noticing some changes in him. One of the things that was particularly mind boggling was his always referencing some brodas in the south side, and the ways he would say it mehn! OK, in case you are wondering, if you eva knew what city I lived in, you would understand that, but for the sake of argument, lets just say that wasn't exactly a good thing.
Another thing was the smoking issue. I have neva smoked in my life and I honestly don't see the appeal in it. I mean, just the smell of the damn thing is enuff to make me wanna throw my guts, not to talk about the dangers of it. Having said that, that is not to say I don't have friends who smoke. I do, and we have an understanding. They don't smoke around me, and they definitely don't smoke in my house. When they start craving their ciggy, then it's time to up and leave. I would imagine that this is the way it would be with other non-smokers with relations with people who smoke.
Back to my story jare. I had neva seen HA light up before, and after the second or so month we were dating, his jacket ( it was winter ) would smell of smoke. When I confronted him about this fact, he was always quick to say it was his friends who came to his house and smoke, and that was why all his clothes smelled like cigarette.
As much as I detest the smell of ciggy, I wasn't one to go tell people on the streets that they needn't be smoking, but I see HA do it all the time, and make faces about why he couldn't understand it and all that other BS. So you understand my confusion as to why he would have a problem with strangers smoking in public, but not be fazed with friends doing the same thing in his house. I have had crazy friends in my time, and some of my friends would say I was a bit crazy too. But I have neva had the urge to disrespect any one's house, neither would I let someone disrespect mine, regardless of our relationship. If one of my friends had lit up in my house, it would have been the last time s/he stepped foot in my house, but not before paying to have the stench removed. Yep, I can get irritable like that.
Anyways, I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but I let the smoking issue go. As the month wore on, I noticed more and more odd habits from HA. I would be at school, and he would suddenly show up, and want to go somewhere, or do something, and the same thing at work. I get his not being in his class and all, but I needed at least a 3.0 G.P.A to keep fafsa happy, and to maintain my job. I couldn't very well tutor people if I was flunking my classes, abi?
Anyways, I was able to shake him off that habit, but it took more time and energy than I thought possible. Before I realized, HA was spending evenings in the lobby of my apartment complex, and professing his undying love. Puh-lease, If anything, I became even more weary. I had strong feelings for him, but I don't know if I would've called it love. As time went by, I noticed HA being more and more dependent. He would call every five minutes and talk about how much he missed me, and he would be surprised I did not feel the same way. I finally had to explain the concept to him, u know, ther was no way I was going to miss him when he did not give me the chance to. I saw him almost every hour, and when I didn't see him, he was on the phone trying to get his 2cents in.
About 5 months after I'd been dating him, I caught him smoking cigar-weed with a bunch of his friends. We had gone to my cousin's BBQ and he'd stepped out to hang with some of his friends. I walked outside, and there he was holding the cigar-weed. Yea, I don't mean cigarettes, I meant cigar-weed. Knowing me, I asked him what he was doing with it, and he said to me, "I was holding it for lagbaja."
That was just it for me. I detest people playing on my intelligence. I can;t stand people who lie. I mean we don't always do the right thing, but cop to wuteva you've done and move on. That's my philosophy. I think less of people who lie about their shit. To me, it says, u knew it was wrong, but u did it anyways, and instead of fixing it, you're lying to cover it up.
I hitched a ride home with one of my other cousins that night, and I kept thinking to myself that who knew what else he was capable of doing...
Anyways, to cut a long story short, I finished my sophomore year and moved to a different city for the fall of my junior year in college. Through the summer, I would run into HA on occasion, and each time, he wanted to get back together, but I was just done with him.
It wasn't long after I started my junior year when my phone rang. It was one of my friends who was just calling to see how I was. Apparently, she missed me. Anyhow, in the course of our conversation, she mention HA was now spending time in Jail. Yea, he was in possession of some coke, I think it was, so he was nabbed by the police and he was doing time for his crime.
That was when all his casually referencing his brodas in the south side clicked. They were the ones supplying him.
The first thing I said out loud when I heard was,"oniranu, alakoba!" Imagine if I would've still been with his arse when he got nabbed, I would have been in a lot of hot water me damn self not knowing I have no clue what the first thing was about that sorta thing. Anyways, I thought, good riddance to bad rubbish!
It's been ova five years, and even though I go back to that city, I have neither seen nor heard from him, and I am just perfect with that.
Now, that's out of the way, I have to admit there were a lot of great moments when we dated. Yea, I remember having the best times with him when he wasn't being a horse's behind. I am going to be in so much trouble when he gets a load of this, but who gives a rat's ass, right? Right!!!
Anyways, I met Horse's Ass (henceforth referred to as HA) the summer of my sophomore year in college. I had gone to apply for some odd job with a couple of my cousins when HA rolled in the building with a couple of his friends. The attraction was instant even though I ignored him and just chilled. When we were done filling out all the forms, his friends started macking my cousins...well, at least they tried, while HA tried putting his smooth ( or so he thot) moves on me. I wasn't to be persuaded tho, so he went on home, disappointed. As soon as I was rid of him, I couldn't help but think about him tho. The broda was foine. Anyways, there was nothing I could do. I was already dating someone, and that was tasking enuff that I couldn't fathom myself juggling HA with the current beau.
Anyways, we all got the job, trust me, you don't want to know what it was. Just know it was a lot of hard work, and I pretty much spent the whole summer juggling school, work and beau. It was an endless cycle, and I don;t think I could survive it if I had to go thru that again. After work each day, HA would trying some of his moves but it neva worked. I finally quite the damn job about two months later. Trust, that was more than I could take of it. After I left the job, I lost contact with HA. By the end of the summer tho, the relationship btw beau and I had fizzled due to some other shait. Oh well, I said. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I had the few weeks before school resumed to hang out and just chill, and not worry about anyone but me.
It was the middle of the fall semester when I ran into HA again. He had gotten so much more handsome. He had his hair braided in a form of cornrow that made him look even more distinguished. It wasn't the sort of braids that made guys look sort of riff-raffy. On him, it just made one want to gobble him up...
Anyways, we got to talking and before you could say supercalifragerlisticespiaodocious, we were an item. The first couple of months were just blissful. A lot of walks in the park, not minding the weather, eateries, sight seeing, and I'll let you fill in the blanks. Then I started noticing some changes in him. One of the things that was particularly mind boggling was his always referencing some brodas in the south side, and the ways he would say it mehn! OK, in case you are wondering, if you eva knew what city I lived in, you would understand that, but for the sake of argument, lets just say that wasn't exactly a good thing.
Another thing was the smoking issue. I have neva smoked in my life and I honestly don't see the appeal in it. I mean, just the smell of the damn thing is enuff to make me wanna throw my guts, not to talk about the dangers of it. Having said that, that is not to say I don't have friends who smoke. I do, and we have an understanding. They don't smoke around me, and they definitely don't smoke in my house. When they start craving their ciggy, then it's time to up and leave. I would imagine that this is the way it would be with other non-smokers with relations with people who smoke.
Back to my story jare. I had neva seen HA light up before, and after the second or so month we were dating, his jacket ( it was winter ) would smell of smoke. When I confronted him about this fact, he was always quick to say it was his friends who came to his house and smoke, and that was why all his clothes smelled like cigarette.
As much as I detest the smell of ciggy, I wasn't one to go tell people on the streets that they needn't be smoking, but I see HA do it all the time, and make faces about why he couldn't understand it and all that other BS. So you understand my confusion as to why he would have a problem with strangers smoking in public, but not be fazed with friends doing the same thing in his house. I have had crazy friends in my time, and some of my friends would say I was a bit crazy too. But I have neva had the urge to disrespect any one's house, neither would I let someone disrespect mine, regardless of our relationship. If one of my friends had lit up in my house, it would have been the last time s/he stepped foot in my house, but not before paying to have the stench removed. Yep, I can get irritable like that.
Anyways, I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but I let the smoking issue go. As the month wore on, I noticed more and more odd habits from HA. I would be at school, and he would suddenly show up, and want to go somewhere, or do something, and the same thing at work. I get his not being in his class and all, but I needed at least a 3.0 G.P.A to keep fafsa happy, and to maintain my job. I couldn't very well tutor people if I was flunking my classes, abi?
Anyways, I was able to shake him off that habit, but it took more time and energy than I thought possible. Before I realized, HA was spending evenings in the lobby of my apartment complex, and professing his undying love. Puh-lease, If anything, I became even more weary. I had strong feelings for him, but I don't know if I would've called it love. As time went by, I noticed HA being more and more dependent. He would call every five minutes and talk about how much he missed me, and he would be surprised I did not feel the same way. I finally had to explain the concept to him, u know, ther was no way I was going to miss him when he did not give me the chance to. I saw him almost every hour, and when I didn't see him, he was on the phone trying to get his 2cents in.
About 5 months after I'd been dating him, I caught him smoking cigar-weed with a bunch of his friends. We had gone to my cousin's BBQ and he'd stepped out to hang with some of his friends. I walked outside, and there he was holding the cigar-weed. Yea, I don't mean cigarettes, I meant cigar-weed. Knowing me, I asked him what he was doing with it, and he said to me, "I was holding it for lagbaja."
That was just it for me. I detest people playing on my intelligence. I can;t stand people who lie. I mean we don't always do the right thing, but cop to wuteva you've done and move on. That's my philosophy. I think less of people who lie about their shit. To me, it says, u knew it was wrong, but u did it anyways, and instead of fixing it, you're lying to cover it up.
I hitched a ride home with one of my other cousins that night, and I kept thinking to myself that who knew what else he was capable of doing...
Anyways, to cut a long story short, I finished my sophomore year and moved to a different city for the fall of my junior year in college. Through the summer, I would run into HA on occasion, and each time, he wanted to get back together, but I was just done with him.
It wasn't long after I started my junior year when my phone rang. It was one of my friends who was just calling to see how I was. Apparently, she missed me. Anyhow, in the course of our conversation, she mention HA was now spending time in Jail. Yea, he was in possession of some coke, I think it was, so he was nabbed by the police and he was doing time for his crime.
That was when all his casually referencing his brodas in the south side clicked. They were the ones supplying him.
The first thing I said out loud when I heard was,"oniranu, alakoba!" Imagine if I would've still been with his arse when he got nabbed, I would have been in a lot of hot water me damn self not knowing I have no clue what the first thing was about that sorta thing. Anyways, I thought, good riddance to bad rubbish!
It's been ova five years, and even though I go back to that city, I have neither seen nor heard from him, and I am just perfect with that.
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